November 30, 2011

Hey kids! Feed this dog treats and collect his poop for prizes!

I seriously thought I was watching an SNL commercial when I saw this. Does anyone plan on buying their little miscreants this disgusting game?

I guess when all is said and done, this makes an age old tradition of kids collecting dog shit safer and less disease ridden. Right? Don’t all kids collect dog crap? I guess collecting it is better than falling in it (sorry for the America’s Funniest Home Videos Reference [even sorrier for referring to one from the Tom Begeron years] but you have to admire someone who will not only post this second hand on YouTube but will make the proper video edits allowing us to see the kid face plant into dog crap multiple times.

And since we’re on the topic of shit, I might as well call out another disgusting commercial line from our friends at Luvs. You know, the only thing worse than thinking about my kid pinching a loaf in his pampers is thinking about 3 kids pinching loaves, accompanied by a DJ, in front of a crazy mob-like crowd of other loaf-pinching infants, in some sort of contest! I wonder what first prize receives? Probably some bulk-forming laxatives. “I know they taste bad, Junior, but you NEED them.”

Luvs, you can take that shit elsewhere! Literally.

Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Commercials, Games, Time to Die!, TV Peddled Products and tagged , , , , , , .

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November 30, 2011

Must Press Mute!

They need to take some awesome insurance commercial queues from Geico.

Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Commercials, Must Press Mute! and tagged , , .

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November 21, 2011

What Were You Thinking, overstock.com?

When you see this commercial:

Does this come to mind? Click here if you didn’t click earlier.  It certainly pops into my head. Not sure what that says about me.

Posted by on November 21, 2011 in Commercials and tagged , , .

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November 20, 2011

For Your Review: Are you in the Twilight Belt?

Every now and again, in the “For Your Review” category, I will put items, normally links to other informational graphics or data sets and just let you take it in and absorb it and discuss freely in the comments if you like. Here is one such post:

Where is America’s Twilight Belt? (Thanks io9).

Pay attention to certain geographic issues (well duh, it is a map). Okay, I’m really just fighting to not give any commentary. No more. I’m done. You discuss. Draw your own conclusions.

Posted by on November 20, 2011 in For Your Review, Movies, Well that makes sense and tagged .

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November 19, 2011

Ad Campaigns that Need to Die: Ridiculous Swiffer Dirt Humanoid Bullshit

Here is the first of thousands of posts where I will bitch about commercial ad campaigns that just need to go. This portion of rerunguy.com presented to you by Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.

Okay, I get it. Making dirt into a human form- reverse anthromorphising I suppose – was funny the first few, well, the first time. Hell, maybe it was funny the second time. But you know, sometimes you just have to claim your victories and move on. These things are getting old. If I see another piece of shit dirt-human being attracted to a stupid mop (which doesn’t work all that well except for a few square feet, but that’s for another blogger to write on) followed by already awesome songs that are now, sadly, beginning to piss me off (“You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate [PLEASE watch this live version from Midnight Special. You won't regret it] and “What about Love” by Heart are just two of the songs that I now here and want to break shit), I’m going to go more ape-shit crazy than I am now. I can understand a product wanting you to associate it with a song or some sort of idea, but geez, the campaign shouldn’t make you want to throw a shoe at your television.

Word of advice, ad execs: You should probably not make what seems like 35 of the same commercial. It gets a bit old.

And how fucking creepy is it altogether? Dirt in human form? Ugh. Whatever.

On second thought, I kind of like this one:

And look at this fucking loser, obviously with too much time on his hands. I don’t even know what the shit he’s pointing out. All of those g-dang text boxes and lines. Geez man.

And, I’ll finish off the rant with this homemade homage to the Swiffer dirt shitfest. I’m so numb to the situation that I can’t even hate on this piece of amateur production. I see a budding Peggy in our midst.

Posted by on November 19, 2011 in Commercials, Time to Die! and tagged , , , , .

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November 16, 2011

Tribute to Bobby Knight (NSFW)

As you might or might not know, Coach K, the Duke basketball coaching legend, just passed Bobby Knight of Indiana (mostly) fame. Don’t ask me how many wins. I could look it up, but I don’t care that much. 900 something, maybe. Well, this is leading all of the major sports outlets out there (well, at least the L.A. Times) to ask which of the two is the better coach? I figured I would weigh in with this little tidbit I have in the vault. Don’t know what time it is from. There are some names, so you basketball fans can figure it out with a few minutes on google. WARNING: lower the volume or put some headphones on. While this is pretty tame for me, some bosses or customers out there might not like it. So, it gets the NSFW tag.

Well shit, as I was trying to upload the sound file, I figured that someone else might have had this same file and did the same thing, saving me some trouble. So, a quick You Tube search found it!

And of course, I couldn’t help finding this nugget, from back in the day when David Letterman’s name followed “Late Night.” Oh, and he was still funny then. I don’t know what it is about that 10:30 Central/11:30 Eastern time slot that makes people not funny. We need the ghost of Johnny Carson to man the hour after the evening news once again. Maybe it’s just CBS. Remember this epic fail? Well, Fox has certainly failed in the past. Remember this? But I digress. Chevy probably should have taken some tips from this guy while he was on his show. By the way, I seriously looked for at least 15 minutes for the clip from Casino of the opening of “Aces High,” Sam “Ace” Rothstein’s awesome Vegas show. Such a great freaking opening to a somewhat fake Vegas show. Oh well, I tried. I’m getting off topic here. Btw, you couldn’t beat Ace’s glasses with a stick. And these were the most tame of the movie!)

And, I’m fighting very hard to not write about Chevy Chase’s total collapse from being funny to unfunny. But, that’s for another post.

And here’s a nice little mashup of pep talks throughout film history. Do you think Hollywood has done a good job of creating the ultimate motivator?

Posted by on November 16, 2011 in Sports, Talk Shows, Variety and tagged , , , , , , , .

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November 16, 2011

Welcome one and all!

Hello, fellow blog reader! You know, I sit on my sofa a lot. And from it I watch a lot of television. Maybe not as much as you, but in my 32 years I’ve logged a lot of time in front of the tube. And you know what television watching does to me? It makes me bitchy. I Bitch at the people on the tv, the idiots that make the commercials, the writers of shitty sitcoms and cheesy romcoms (yes, my lovely girlfriend, a lover of “cucs” tells me that the hip kids call romantic comedies “romcoms”). I bitch at everyone.

But it’s not all bitch-worthy. There are good things. There are cool things. I find the coolest things to often come from the world of commercial advertising (and it also provides its fair share of shit). And the world of music (although I’m hard pressed to find music on my television). I do play video games as well, and I’m an overall geek when it comes to all things Apple. I think, however, that there are enough tech bloggers out there that are more qualified to write about such things. But, the one thing I think I am qualified to write about is shitty television.

So, here it goes. I think I’ve finally found the one topic (out of thousands) that I not only want to share with the world but that I feel like devoting some time to sharing. We’ll see how it goes. Happy trails from the rerun guy! Let’s experience the beauty that is television together.

Posted by on November 16, 2011 in Uncategorized.

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